OK, I've been trying to form these words for awhile now & I've had a hard time trying to figure out where I want to go with this. This whole blog thing is still kinda funny, I don't want to whine & I certainly need to be careful about how much I share (learned that after I started hearing rumors that I was dying!) But I don't want to be fake either & my life isn't always pretty.
I know this much...the blogs/people/books/music that I connect most with are those that are real, not all shiny & pretty. The shiny, happy, pretty, blogs/people/books/music are a great place to visit when I feel good, but when I'm not, they only bring me down even further, I guess because I just can't relate at the time.
So here is my reality at the moment...I HATE the holidays. Hate, hate, hate them. There, I said it, the cat is outta the bag!
Watching people get so stressed out, get themselves into debt, wear themselves out until they get sick makes me very sad. I don't participate in any of that, if I give gifts at all, I make them. Anyway, I'm much happier giving gifts randomly throughout the year. I would much rather give someone something that I know they'll really love in July instead of whipping something together because I "have" to at Christmas.
But even though I don't participate, there is still this underlying sadness during the holidays. Some years are better than others.
This is one of the others!
Sometimes I think maybe it's because my family isn't here, but the truth is, I would be MISERABLE if they were!
I'm busy, I'm with friends & people who I really want to spend time with, but it's still there underneath everything. And it only takes the slightest thing to send me spinning downward.
That happened last night & I haven't been able to snap out of it, and that's what this day has been like.
There's really no point to any of this... well except for this...the whole point of having a blog for me is to be able to connect w/ others. So if you're not having one of those shiny, happy pretty holidays, perhaps you can relate to this post!